lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
