Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
