I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
