i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
