she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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