oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
