I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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