Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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