its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize