Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
