His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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