are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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