the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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