remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
