Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize