I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she told me i tasted like america
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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