If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
