this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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