DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
