covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
