I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
