how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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