its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
