so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
