I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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