Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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