I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
