Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
