so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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