i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i barfeds in our rink
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
