Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
