I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
