Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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