omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
