butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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