No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
