His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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