this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
