My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
