That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
