we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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