2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
