I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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