I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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