***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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