butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
