just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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