you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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