what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
