No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
