Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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