Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
