Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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