i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
