On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
