What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just gift wrapped bread.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
