weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize