no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
