Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I enjoy the company of your penis
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
