I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize